Saturday, January 16, 2010

I Had A Bad Day

Have you ever had one of those "bad days"? You know, the ones where you have no idea what you are doing here or what your purpose in life is? Well, I have and I did... yesterday. I guess it started at work. I'm not totally in love with my job. I sometimes wonder why my life is the way it is. Why can't my life be different? Why can't I have the same things everyone else has (not that I'm envious.) Why am I sometimes ashamed of some the stuff I'm going through? And the more I think about this stuff, the angrier and more frustrated I become. It drives me absolutely crazy. And I hate being in a bad mood when I come home from work because it seems like I take it out on Nikki and our poor dogs a lot of the time. (Sorry guys! I still love you!)

I read a church sign one time that said "If God puts you on hold, don't hang up." I'm reminded of an episode of one of my favorite TV shows, "Friends", where one of the characters stays on the phone for several days because, "'re call is very important to us!" All you want to do is get on with your life but it seems like you'll never get out of your "holding" pattern. All you want to do is ask God, "What exactly are you doing? Why am I where I am? Is what I'm doing really helping to further Your kingdom? Why do you still have me on hold?"

As I was thinking about this yesterday, a still small voice reminded me of Adam and Eve. Before the garden incident, they were naked and unashamed. They didn't have to hide from anyone. (Well, the only other person around was God and He created them that way). But then, they had a bad reaction to a red, delicious apple. They realized that they were naked and hid... from God.

What are you ashamed of? Sometimes things in our lives don't make sense and some things we're not proud of them. But God gives us this verse: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5." God very clearly speaks to us in that verse. Trust in Him, and don't try to understand. We most likely never will understand. And even though that is a tough lesson to learn, it's OK! God knows what He's doing and He will use us the way He made us to be used!

Now, I can rest until Tuesday...then it's back to work!!!

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